Sergeant,
I am writing to report an unusual situation.
Yesterday, during my routine patrol, I saw a man crouching by the side of the path. At first, I thought he must be simply relieving himself, but then I gave him a closer look and noticed two things: first, his trousers were still on, and two, he had mud smeared all over his face and twigs sticking out of his hair.
I asked him if he was all right, to which he responded with anger, screaming: "What?! How did you even see me?! I'm in disguise!", which made me think he must have been sick with fever.
I offered to take him to camp, but he interrupted me, yelling: "Ha! Klaus the Brave shan't fall for your ruse!", then ran off towards the forest but tripped and fell into a patch of nettles.
I decided to let him be and carried on with my patrol duty, but I think other soldiers should be alerted to the presence of this peculiar individual.
Tomas
